変•な•外人•異星人•です

Today we went to Six Flags, but not for very long. :/ The Batwing shut down just before we got on it, and then after that it rained - and then after that, Katie and Mom declaired they were already exhausted, so we left. Still, it was a pretty good theme park experience at $5 a pop...
Rides-wise, I got to go on the Joker coaster and Superman. Superman was quite good - long enough to make up for its lack of uniqueness - quite good, in general. The Joker coaster was bizzare - it was kind of like a really big knot of a coaster, very loopy but pretty fun. The free food was more questionable... the burgers looked like... um... I'm not sure... although the chicken tenders were alright. I don't think this park has really caught up with Busch Gardens or even King's Dominion in terms of cleanliness (despite every trashcan and employee being adorned with 'please throw away your trash - our family comes here, too') and there were flies, wasps, and flies that look like wasps all over the park, especially in the food area. By the end of the day, I found out where the free ice cream was, so I risked one. Um... it was a really short day. We got up at 8, but we were back home by 4. After I got home me, katie, and dad split a can of anchovies over crackers with swiss - which is like, the best threesome ever, btw - and then I became an idiot and decided to risk even MORE dairy and had some fudge we got from the park.
And then I got sick. Because I am an idiot.
Of course, I recovered by NOW... *coughcough*
I haven't done any of my GEMS interviews... I didn't get to... I didn't even bring it to the park... >: I should have. But bah humbug. I can suffer a single zero in GEMS, for goodness sake.
Although math maybe not so much. I forgot about - I should do that now, probably.
Um...

I bought, like, more yarn yesterday. Crocheting is like... a serious expense. But I think I've hit the mark where I have so much yarn that if I have any temptation to buy anymore, I will be reminded of the fact that I have enough at home to make a Cruella Deville looking coat... or something. D: I have plenty of yarn, is my point. In many colors, textures, and varieties. And I am very happy with my latest buys. For reallies.  That's it. That's it! D8!!!

P.S. The newly released Luna pics were awesome, so I mades me an icon.
 

Yeah. A very long day.
English was quite enjoyable. We're writing an essay over the next few days, but I think I'll like it. I had to read a short story (from a list of options) so I chose to read Edgar Allen Poe's... A Cask of Amontillado. I'd never read it before, but some people said they had... and didn't like it, but I usually like Poe, so I read it and was relieved that I did enjoy it.
Then I went to Earth Science, which was fun and calming. I mean. Plotting a line graph. Colored pencils. Is it wrong that I enjoy the passiveness, the simplicity, the childishness? The level of pressure is, at least, perfect for me there - and I actually like the subject. I honestly don't know why I never took it before. My stubborness was a fool on that count.
Then I had Advanced Math (Alg III). It was 'okay', as usual. I don't really like algebra, or the teacher, so... it was just alright. I don't think I made a huge number of mistakes, though. I got, like, two things wrong on my homework, which is really good...
Then we had GEMS and we talked about colleges and essays and things. Mr. R questioned me... like about the college I was looking at and what I wanted to do. Apparently he's actually really familiar with the area, and I was pleased to find out that it's fantastic and filled with artsy things (and safe, he assured me) - but he warned me that the university 'looks like a prison (literally)'. I decided that I want to do a college trip there... I don't know that I'll necessarily want to go to the college, but the area sounds great.
Then, school ended, we had Nippon Club... it was awkward and quiet, and felt really flimsy. It wasn't the worst ever, but it felt really underachieving. It felt like the two seperate worlds again.
I got to talk to paraparalover after school... we had a really deep discussion. I really enjoyed it. It felt like a good fill-in, too. We don't have any classes together, so I was happy to get to talk so openly with one of my best friends.
On the way home I talked to my mom. Our skills at communicating with one another are as poor as ever. By the end we figured out we were barely arguing (we pretty much agreed) but both of us thought of it completely differently. But, I think I may have swayed her into a college visit - I really want to see the college, like, from the inside. I have to know now if it's just housed in a jail or if, secretly, it is one. XD That IS about the loveliest thing you can find out about your top choice college, by the way.

But... it's like...
I think my parents are convinced that I am a young naive buffoon.

My mom is so... absolute. "You've been doing everything wrong," she says, "You have all of these problems." ("Your whole life," she says, also.)
"I have no problems," I remarked, "I have done nothing wrong my whole life. I don't believe that there is a right way or a wrong way for me to be doing anything. There is no solution for 'me'."
"You are completely the opposite of me. You always have been." But then how can she be so sure of the directions in my life? And why is she so afraid that I will make mistakes just as she has? I have no doubt I will make mistakes in my life - I fully intend to make them. But why does she think mine will be hers if she really thinks we are so different?
I don't know if she's clouded by her heart or her hopelessness. "I agree with you completely. You aren't a number." She pauses. "But we live in a world and a country that thinks exactly the opposite. It is made of numbers."
But I am not the world or the country. I am an individual. And so I am not a number. I am infinite. Because I stand by myself. The world and the country are free to do the math.
It looks as if my mother lost a fight with numbers, and, as they have won the battle, she has decided that she will submit to them and serve them. But when was life, or art and numbers - ever about winning or losing?
"And with your attention deficit. Your disorganization doesn't help the problem." But when were either of those things ever a problem? Attention deficit is not a problem - which is why if I am ever diagnosed, I don't want medication. It is not a problem to be corrected. Attention deficit is not a problem but a way, and why should I 'correct' my way, especially if it is my own way? It is just how I see, how I do, how I think. Differently. Slowly. Wavering. Pulsing. Like a slow beaming light from a light house, going the whole entire way around, which spends half its time looking at the ocean as it should and half the time meaninglessly observing the land, finding no fault in the idea that it may never find a lost ship there. There is no fault in a lighthouse looking on the land.


Then my father. "Enough of this forgetting... slacking... low grades... B.S." he tells me, "I don't care what you want to do. You have to work on your school work. You have to get good grades. If you don't, I won't hesitate to take things away from you. You'll lose things. You have no idea how much I can take away." His voice is stern and cold. "And you know what? I thought the same thing as you once. You know what else? I was stupid. It was stupid. And you, you don't even have a second option. You can't fall back on the military like I did. If you fail you have nothing."
There is nothing else I can think, except... I pity so much. I pity such finitey. Such finality. Such 'solutions' and such 'answers'. And... how much wrath there was in his voice. As if I had been the one to end things for him. I know I did no such thing. But I think he is sure that I am finite, too. But that can only happen if you break.
I won't break. If there's anything I am as such a stubborn fool, well, I am not going to break. There's a reason for that. I don't intend to break. If I am dying on the street I will not break. I am infinity, damn it! I have everything in my power to stay together. And I will.
But I can be everywhere, scattered, disorganized and foolish, and naive, and young, and an idiot if I want to be. I'm not going to break. I'm going to continue. Forever.
Nothing shall ever stop me. And nothing doesn't exist. That I assure myself every day. So there are no obstacles. So damn me if I have faith in myself! I have the right to be anything, and I've chosen just that!

Auggh... but... auggghh... I know my parents are just worried about me, and I'm kind of having a hiss fit at them even though they're just caring. But how much I've wished they didn't care. That I could be me. That I wouldn't have to worry about them. That I didn't feel so sorry for them. How I wish they'd change, oh, I am a stubborn sunuvah but where the hell do they think it's coming from? It's not popping out of nothing. I've already established that that doesn't exist. Sometimes I think I'm so much like them it's repulsive. My parents disgust me so much of the time. Because they've given up, they're broken, and they're miserable people - and they think that I can somehow make amends for that - but then their means are that I need to 'fix' myself, 'fix' my life... while forgetting... I'm not broken yet. You can't fix what isn't broken.
And I shall not break by any hands, ever ...except for perhaps theirs.

-Meme-

Taken from eranith. YOU GUYS comment and answer these, not me.
 

( take it )

 

BUT IT IS NOT PER SE A HAPPY STORY... MORE LIKE A HORROR STORY.

I went to the hair cutters with my mom and my sisters. And...
and...
o,MMMMMM,o
My hair cutter was that country prep girl (Emily) from creative writing who I can't stand but I tried my hardest and was really really nice to her but klajkl;fjsa''lfda'aa SHE BUTCHERED MY HEAD.
It looks like a really, really bad place between this (no offense meant) (yes, your pixelation RAWKS), this, and this. ;D; EDIT: I got a picture! I'm more upset that I didn't say anything to her (because I'm a 'nice person' AND an idiot) and that the hair looks bad on me more than it actually looks bad. Although there is this one little section of hair that she missed completely on the side of my head lmfo?
HERE'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
lol also, my posed puppy-dog face of despair is PERFECT XD Sorry I had to overbloom this picture for you to actually see my hair lol...
Sorry to anyone who feels I may be overreacting DX But... you know how bad hair can crush an ego... LOL

I don't want to go back there so my mom is going to try to fix it. :/ But it's really, really bad. It looked okay, wet, but... DRY IT'S NOT OKAY.

On a brighter note Eliza got her hair cut and it turned out really, really cute (she looks like a little bubble!), I got three pairs of pants at the thrift store and some crafting stuff at walmart that I'm gonna have fun with right now. So yay!

That's it. :x

Oh PS: My parents gave me the a-okay to paint my ceiling fan. :D My dad actually popped in my room while I was unscrewing the blades with a very serious, "What are you doing?" and I'm like, "Um, I'm taking the blades off my ceiling fan, mom said I could paint them. I asked permission." and he's like, "Oh, okay... I thought you spray painting in your room. Don't spray paint in your room." and I was like, "Okay, I won't XD"
Besides spray paint smelling awful we have to do it outside (not even in the garage) because of the cats. :/ Sensitive brains, them.
P.S.S.: I need to do another BFF photo w/ paraparalover this year and one with catldr24 too. .3. After I get my mushroom haircut fixed.

P.S.S.S.: NO ONE HAS BEEN ONLINE ALL SATURDAY NIGHT AND IT'S MASSIVELY DEPRESSING FOR SOME REASON DX Everyone else but me has an actual life, so it seems. >:

Well, since I've only really filled it in w/ paraparalover , I guess I'll explain it to you lot too.
Earlier on today Eliza and Katie were fighting.
What really happened was like this (I didn't really know what was going on at that time):
Eliza and Katie had struck a deal about trading chores, Eliza doing the bathroom for Katie if Katie would clean her room. Mom called over the phone to say that Eliza's room had to be cleaned. Whether Katie or Eliza did it it was Eliza's responsibility that it got done, and if Katie didn't do it then Eliza would have to. If it didn't get done they would both be grounded, she said.
Eliza had strewn some papers on the floor, and Katie declaired that she wouldn't clean up the rest of the room until Eliza cleaned up her pile of papers from the floor. Eliza flipped out and chased Katie down angrily. Katie attempted to hide away in her room, but Eliza wouldn't let her shut the door (this is the door battle I described). This battle over the door went on for about an hour and forty five minutes, at which point Eliza seemed to leave and Katie 'escaped' from her room. However at this point Eliza quickly sought her way and locked Katie out of her room. Katie at this point was very frustrated, and the two again began to fight over the door, as Katie attempted to unlock it. This second door fight must have gone on for another twenty five minutes. During this time I came out a couple of times and tried to intervene between negotiation; I figured this was just another dumb fight of theirs (and it was) and the door banging sound after over two hours was giving me one hell of a headache. There was a breif point during the first fight when I physically attempted to pry Eliza off Katie's door (using my bamboo kendo sword like a crow bar) but because at that point the two were speaking to me and so much and both of them were basically begging for my physical intervention (Katie was literally and Eliza was asking for it). By the end of it I tired and went to the livingroom to wait it out.
By the time it ended, Katie succeeded in unlocking the door and forced it open, and Eliza rushed out and forced her against the wall in a headlock. Katie called out for me (I was in the livingroom now) and Katie fought to pry Eliza off while Eliza also managed to bite and scratch her. The instant the two of them pulled off of eachother I intervened and Katie had a hyperventalating fit and burst into tears; she was having a very hard time breathing and I calmly asked her repeatedly if she was alright. I spoke to her breifly and tried to comfort her before talking to Eliza in the hallway.
I tried to persuade her to go to her room, insisting that "she didn't have to clean it or do anything, but I think it would be better if you two were separated right now" and she said, "that doesn't solve anything". I said, "no, it doesn't, but it keeps you apart and stops you from hurting each other any more until one of the parents come home. Besides that, it's not my job. You don't think I have any authority to discipline you anyway, do you?" and she said, "No, of course you don't. You're stupid." And so I said, "So, do you think you can go in there and calm down until mom gets home?" and she said, "Mom doesn't handle these things right ever anyway... she doesn't understand..." (this is my paraphrasing) And I said, "Well, will you? I'd ask Katie to go to her room, too, but you're still standing in the hallway, so... (I can't)" and she said, "You always take her side anyway..." and I said, "No, I don't. You've both made mistakes here, but in this case you've made the bigger mistakes. I'm not picking sides, I'm keeping out biases and I'm being fair with you until mom gets home." and she said, "It's her fault... she shouldn't provoke me..." and I tried to tell her, "well you shouldn't be so easily provoked" but
at this point Katie called from the livingroom that "one of them is home", so I said, "I guess you won't have to go in there, anyway."
It was mom, and I tried to get to her as quickly as I could that they had been fighting. She seemed to get it but then asked us all to help her take in groceries anyway. Katie scrambled down and spoke to her outside. I caught her just as mom said, "Wait, you guys were really fighting? [Like a fight fight?]"  I tried to tell her, "that's what I tried to tell you," but she shooed me off for a bit so she could talk to Katie (who was still in tears). As soon as it seemed she was done I spoke to her again and told her what Eliza had said about mom not understanding or handling the situation right. Mom brushed it off a bit and asked me straight who I thought had started it. I told her that Katie had provoked it but Eliza had definitely started the fight.
As far as I'm aware mom's way of handling it is "Eliza has to clean her own room and Katie will clean the bathroom during Eliza's turn."
That's it.
I don't know if dad even knows.
As much as I didn't involve myself, that's exactly the same thing, or less. Tomorrow I'm bringing up with mom and Eliza that I think she should try and see the school therapist when school starts. Eliza's had emotional problems since Elementary school and my mom has never really addressed them... nobody has ever really addressed them. It's clear that Eliza doesn't trust any of us. I think I'm going to try and make a point to Eliza that I'm not reccommending it as a punishment or anything but because I actually think it will help her. (I might even mention Maria from creative writing to convince her). If she can't talk to anyone at home then she needs someone else she can really talk to about anything, otherwise she's going to get herself into a fight at school just like at home.
I just hope that the FP therapist is actually helpful and not a creepazoid like the admins apparently are.

Well, as you guys know I'm in the process of cleaning my room. This is something that happens about every... year to four years (the latter in this case) on a full scale so there are a number of levels of dust and old schoolwork I must battle through to get it done. Most of my old schoolwork and old art I've deemed worthy of throwing out, but there are a couple of things I felt were worth keeping so far... mostly some old pictures that look like I'd put a lot of effort into or I think show really well how I've progressed. I actually found one picture from two years ago that I still really like, so I'll probably put it up on my deviant art.

Katie and Eliza are fighting right outside my bedroom door. The two struck a deal where Eliza would clean the bathroom when it was Katie's turn, if in exchange Katie would clean her room. Katie, however, refuses to pick up some papers Eliza has strewn on the floor (not a lot - about enough to fit into a single folder) and Eliza, too, refuses to pick them up because "It's Katie's job and she's breaking the deal." Thus resulting into a battle which involves Eliza trying to push herself into Katie's bedroom door and Katie slamming it shut whenever Eliza manages to push it open a bit further. It's hit a quiet spot now, but I wouldn't be surprised if they started again... right about now. >_>;
Mom called and told me to relay to them that if Eliza's room wasn't cleaned, they would both be grounded; Katie says she doesn't care. Eliza must because she's being so persistant. Mom also said that Eliza's room being cleaned is still her responsibility, whoever cleans it, and so if Katie doesn't clean it she expects her to anyway, meaning that in this case Eliza's at greater fault and... I think, more greatly responsible for the racket.

... P. S. : Miyavi is my room-cleaning music.

I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO TRY AND CLEAN UP MY ROOM. TRY AND MOTIVATE ME YOU GUYS.

Currently, my only deep-down motivation is this: I really, really want to paint my ceiling fan.

Just bored evening/night pondering, now.

Of course when I can't think of anything else to do, I start typing (both kinds lol) which I know is kind of sad, but it's kind of a convenient thing to do when there is nothing else to really do. :/ I actually think all my "best" friends ( doi2life, paraparalover, and catldr24) are NFP's (cat & doi2life are INFP's and I think para might be an ENFP, but he's hard for me to type~!)... which is interesting to me. I guess since I'm such a hard thinking T I need Fs to support me/ keep me sane, but they need to be F's that I share enough in common with (NP) that I don't go crazy on that front, either. I can't see myself as being best buds with an S or a J, although as regular friends that's perfectly fine. NFP's are introspective/idealist/advocates on the keirsey sorter, while INTP is an introspective/rational/engineer. 

I'm actually not sure that I'm friends with any SJ's. Am I friends with any SJ's? (Holler if you are!)
The only person I can think of who I'm 99% sure is an SJ is Caitlin, and she's not really a friend (more like an acquaintance that keeps on popping up within my circle of friends) and kiiinnnddd of crazy. *cough*. I think she could be a seriously OCD 1 ISTJ or ESTJ. 

OMG the wiki article:
"An INTP is not shy about using a tool for something other than its original purpose, or creating a new tool to serve a desired purpose. INTPs cause no end of frustration to ESTJs and ISTJs with this improvisation, as despite their best effort they cannot make the same intuitive leaps which come naturally to the INTP. On the other hand, they are quick to smugly point out when the INTP must stop in the middle of a project to puzzle over the previously discarded instructions, which the -STJ read at the start."  
LMFO=describes interaction perfectly so I am right lol



My family is typed! (Da-da-DA!)

Moments when I can't stand my parents: like, TODAY. 

WTF are they doing at home, anyway? They're supposed to be taking a day off and all that they are doing is yelling and bitching at each other and us so far. Oh my effing god.  

So now I have to figure out what my friends are. If you guys want to try and figure out yourself (which is probably better) then please go ahead, but in the meantime I'm probably going to try and guess what at least some of my friends are.